comprehensive sexuality ignorance - part 2 - blog post - Peter's Box


Last updated on June 2nd, 2023 at 07:01 am

Take a few minutes to read Part 1 of Comprehensive Sexual Ignorance. Today’s post is a continuation of the previous one. It is recommended to read that before beginning Part 2 in today’s post.

Repression vs Liberation

There are two extremes to sex-related curiosity. Repression is at the lowest end, while liberation is at the highest. It is extremely fascinating to observe that many of the friends I have spoken to are okay with viewing repression as a leash on unrestricted sexual exploration. Stigma and hypocrisy, the first two symptoms, are typically where repression begins. Fear results from these syndromes. Staying away from what instills fear is also the simplest approach to overcoming it. As a result, people approach having sexual relations with fear. We are led to think that once we engage in sexual activity, everything will go wrong. 

overwhelmed man with a dark cloud of depression over his head

A friend said that when she was younger, her mother used to warn her that getting kissed by any male would result in pregnancy. At high school, the chaplain also warned the students that if they went home and had sex, they would become pregnant, and if they attempted to have the pregnancy aborted, they would die. This was said during the assembly meeting before the students left for vacation. Don’t be shocked if the majority of these impressionable women develop sexual repression. Sexual repression is stressful and can have a negative impact on mental health. Sexual liberation does not imply indiscriminate sexual encounters. It just means being at peace with the fact that sex is a wonderful part of the human experience.

macro shot of pouring water into a glass


Consent is the one aspect of sex that truly bugs me. It is a difficult subject for many individuals. I once stumbled across a friend’s Facebook post concerning consent. That post was quite helpful in understanding what consent is and how it functions. It was illustrated using the example of giving someone a cup of water. Here’s how it works: You offer someone a glass of water. You offer him the cup of water if he responds, “Yes.” You do not compel someone to finish a cup of water if they only want to drink half of it. Consenting to sex is like to consenting to accept a cup of water. No is a firm no. Yes, means yes. Yes, but I’m already full also means no. Knowing this will bring you sanity. This takes us to the next bottleneck: communication.


This bottleneck is by far the quickest way to have a horrible sexual encounter. Many people believe their partners like how they have sex. As a result, there is little to no dialogue about what each partner enjoys or finds objectionable during or even after sex. Regardless of your degree of expertise in having wonderful sex, communication is a necessity. The things people like vary daily, so what your partner liked yesterday might not be fun today. The remedy is to sit down and talk about it. Opening up about your sexual fantasies, boundaries, and challenges is part of communication.

black woman with a sad face sitting with a partner


Knowledge is, indeed, power. It’s amazing how little we know about what we don’t know. I had no idea how little I understood about sex, and the transformation that I went through after researching it was incredible! One must approach sex as a learner, never as a master. According to a friend, “No two orgasms are ever the same.” In other words, don’t anticipate the same results from every one of your sexual encounters. Most individuals have a one-size-fits-all approach to all sexual interactions. Men in particular. The ordinary man’s sex focuses on power, speed, and penetration. As a result, sex in every encounter is always about prolonged, vigorous penetration.

woman, ladder, idea-7780330.jpg

But did you know that about 90% of women do not get orgasms from penetrative sex alone? And that foreplay enables a woman to get adequately wet before penetrative sex. This information is solely based on understanding how the human body functions! Do you know what the C-spot is? You have undoubtedly heard of the G-spot. Do you know where it is, though? How about understanding the distinction between an orgasm and an ejaculation? Other blog posts will be devoted to the more important aspects of having good sex. For the time being, we have to acknowledge that we are not certain of our presumptions. Additionally, having an open mind is a crucial attitude to have when it comes to sex. Be conscious to put what you’ve learned into practice!  I can’t stress this enough. Spend some time learning about sex, and you’ll have the most divine experiences!

Case in point: I will never forget what an ex of mine told me one day after sex. She smiled and said, “Thank you.” I responded by grinning back. But the reason she continued thanking me every few minutes baffled me. She said that I was getting a bouquet of “thank yous” from her because she hadn’t had fantastic sex in a very long time. You can probably guess how I felt following that comment. My secret is my knowledge. It wasn’t about my strength or how long I could hold an erection, but about knowing what to do at the right time. Speaking about the right time, most men ruin it when women are having orgasms. Resist the temptation to speed up the pace or change your rhythm. Just keep doing whatever you were doing when the woman started to orgasm. I’ll discuss why in a future post.

beautiful couple enjoying their time together
orgasm chasm art

The promised land of orgasm

It is fun to have sex. Most of the time, the purpose of having sex is to feel pleasure. Sex for pleasure is more common than sex for reproduction. Therefore, it is normal to anticipate that every sexual experience will end in pleasure. However, if we don’t feel pleasure during sex, we get disappointed. This is where things get complicated. Not all sexual interactions culminate in orgasm, the pinnacle of pleasure. This can be due to several factors. This is a critical issue, particularly for the majority of women, who are unlikely to have an orgasm in most sexual interactions. Performance anxiety sets in over time.

One becomes overly concerned about whether or not they will feel pleasure. Anxiety may impair “sexual performance,” which over time results in apathy toward sexual experimentation. Pleasure is like a hidden treasure! The journey to discover the treasure adds to the thrill of finding it. Approaching sex as an art and a journey to be explored is a better strategy than approaching it with orgasm as the final result. When you approach sex with an open mind, you could be surprised by what you learn.

variety of sex toys

Sex Toys and sex myths

We have an innate dread of the unknown, which is something I’ve seen when people talk about exploring their sexuality. What if I develop an addiction to this, that, and other things? For most people, this is a serious problem! The majority of individuals say, “Peter, I know myself.” Despite my need for sex, I am aware of myself. Once I give it a try, I’ll become obsessed. I then advise them to use sex toys. “No, Peter. I’m not going to experiment with sex toys. I prefer having sex with people. Besides, I’m scared I’ll become hooked to the toys and lose interest in men.’  According to certain widely held beliefs, sex toys solely serve to replace men in the bedroom. Women will eventually no longer depend on men for sex. That’s rather intriguing! This school of thought is a ludicrous farce that ironically reveals…

…To be continued in Part 3

What’s next in Peter’s Box? ¡Hasta luego amigos!  

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