Last updated on June 2nd, 2023 at 07:03 am
Did you like “Ashaiman Twisted,” my last blog post? What did you think of what happened after the young soldier in Ashaiman was killed? Was the military’s raid on Ashaiman justified? Don’t forget to comment on the post with your thoughts. Click here to read it if you haven’t already.
I’m quite passionate about today’s topic, “Comprehensive Sexuality Ignorance.” It focuses on how our views on sex impact how we experience sex.
What you feel about sex
Comprehensive Sexuality Ignorance is an assessment of how deeply people are ignorant of the human sexual experience. What are some of the feelings that come to mind when you hear the word “sex”? Do you feel angry, disturbed, sad, puzzled, disgusted, stressed, humiliated, thrilled, afraid, or indifferent? Could it be that how we feel about sex determines what it means to us? Is it the other way around? Our perception of sex determines our feelings toward it.
The term sex has two main definitions or usages. The first is biology-related, whereas the other is sociology-related. The biological definition is the physical interaction of reproductive parts and/or sexual organs, which may result in pleasure and progeny. Substitute words for sex include coitus, coition, sexual intercourse, copulation, coupling, intimacy, lovemaking, mating, mounting, penetration, union, consummation, and carnal knowledge.
The sociological definition of sex is the classification into which sexually reproducing animals are subdivided according to the reproductive functions they play in their respective species. The first definition will be the focus of this post. I’ve discovered a condition in the human population after dedicating time to sex research and education. “Comprehensive Sexuality Ignorance” is what I would call this.
I came up with this phrase in response to the uproar that surrounded discussions over the Ghana Education Service’s introduction of an entirely novel course. Comprehensive Sexuality Education, the new course, was designed to teach sexual and reproductive health to students in elementary schools. Due to public uproar from the majority of Ghanaians, it was never implemented. The main contention was that the course was part of a strategy to bring LGBTQIA+ ideologies into the country.
Comprehensive Sexuality Ignorance, however, is not precisely about LGBTQIA+. It is about recognizing the bottlenecks that prevent a fantastic sexual experience from occurring. These bottlenecks are fuelled by a lack of understanding of the sexual experience.
The major bottlenecks I identified are:
- Repression vs liberation
- The promised land of orgasm
- Sex Toys
- Homophobia and human rights
Do you love sex?
Someone may wonder why I am concerned about someone having a wonderful sexual encounter. This reaction is almost identical to that of curious, disappointed virgins (both males and females), who ask, “What’s so unique about sex?” after having their first sexual encounter to satiate their curiosity. Is this what all the fuss is about?’ It all comes down to one word: “ignorance.” Knowing what ‘is’ is sufficient to have a fantastic sexual experience. This was the same explanation I gave to a partner a few years ago when she asked why she was having an orgasm with me but had never had one in her previous relationships. That’s a daring assertion she made! I have no reason to doubt her at all. Most women will relate to her story, while most men will extol their prowess in bed.
I should be clear at this point about how toxic ignorance about our sexual experience can be. Every idiot can have sex, but only the wise can offer pleasure! Let’s examine the numerous barriers to the human sexual experience. When you hear the term “sex,” what comes to mind? Provide a thorough and sincere response to this query. Fear, pleasure, sin, conceit, exploration, penetration, connection, and passion are a few examples of possible responses. These responses have an impact on having a wonderful sexual encounter. Every response has a bottleneck. Let’s begin.
The most prevalent bottleneck is the notion that having sex is “dirty,” “evil,” and “dangerous,” and hence, to use a religious term, “a sin.” In society, we don’t pursue anything that is filthy, wicked, or hazardous. The birth of dualism is where the notion that sex is bad first emerged. Simply put, dualism is the state of being twofold. This belief that having sex is bad stems from the dualism theory of religion, which holds that the spirit is virtuous and holy while the flesh is bad and impure. It is understandable why most fundamentalists find the concept of sex offensive. It can be a severe mental burden for some people. Consequently, anything that leads you near sex, is evil and to use the religious term, a sin.
Isn’t it strange that some devout Christians continue to engage in sex despite their condemnation of it as evil? Even perpetrating horrific sexual crimes, like the Catholic Church’s papacy’s sexual abuse of young boys. Or the fact that infidelity seems to be the norm. This is not a point of spite or slander against the religious community. It is more important to identify an issue and define it. Recognizing an issue is the first step in solving it. The issue with sex is that there isn’t one. Sex is a normal part of life. It’s how we avoid extinction! Our attitude toward sex is at the root of the issue. It gets us to the next syndrome: hypocrisy!
Why do we find ourselves loathing sex if it is enjoyable most of the time, if not always? It is the definition of hypocrisy, particularly for a generation that lavishly sexualizes everything. In my opinion, it amounts to labelling something delicious as bitter or something that is white as black. Sex is gorgeous. It’s a healing endeavour. Endorphins are released by the body and make it feel good overall. Anyone who isn’t a virgin will comprehend this right away. Liberating best describes this sensation! But there is another type of inhibition that I believe is culturally transmitted. At a very young age, we are instructed to refrain from referring to our private parts by name.
We are so infantilized that we are trained to refer to the penis and vagina using slang such as wee-wee, peepee, kakai, bolobolo, and so on. Then there were the times when my parents would hide tapes of Ghanaian films with explicit scenes. If my dad had known that they had suggestive content, I suppose he wouldn’t have purchased them. Despite this, I don’t recall my father inviting me to a chat about sex. This recipe is only for one thing! Curiosity! Uninformed curiosity can be dangerous.